Does learning English give you stress?
- Eleanor- Utter Eloquence
- Jun 15, 2023
- 13 min read
Updated: May 21
Overcome 6 common anxiety triggers when English learning with these tips below!
Find definitions for all green-highlighted words at the bottom of the page to help expand your vocabulary!
Let’s be real: learning English is a rewarding journey, but it’s not always a walk in the park!
From forgetting grammar rules to getting stuck on how to pronounce words like “rural” (seriously, why is that so hard?), it’s easy to feel frustrated, stressed, and a little bit lost along the way.
In this post, we’re diving into some 6 of the most common reasons learning English feels more stressful than it should be!
Whether it’s past experiences that still haunt you, fear of speaking in front of others, or just the overwhelming feeling that there’s always more to learn—trust me, you’re not alone.
But don’t worry! I’m also sharing practical tips and strategies to help you work through these roadblocks, reclaim your confidence, and make learning English a fun and stress-free experience.
So, get comfy, and let’s turn those learning triggers into motivation!
A Personal Story: My Own Stress Triggers and Language Learning
I'm going to embarrass myself before we go further so you can see how stress can impact your language learning- and learning in general!
As a child living in Wales, I loved Maths. That was until I moved to England at the age of 8. On my first day of new school, I was greeted by a Maths teacher who was, to put it mildly, TERRIFYING. Lessons were always stressful, and I had a constant fear of getting something wrong and facing his screaming anger. In my mind- I'd been taken away from my home country (YES- Wales is a different country & culture to England!) & suddenly I was in this horrible new place being screamed at!
As the months went on, my stress & anxiety became so overwhelming that I would cry every time I had to do Maths, even homework was a daily battle and caused many arguments at home!
It knocked my confidence so severely, it left me needing tutors for the rest of my school years just to pass the final exam- in which I got a B...so I wasn't even bad at Maths!!
Fast forward twenty years...
Shortly after moving to Slovenia- an incredibly stressful experience, I was in a group Slovene language class, learning numbers. Everything was fine- until we had to do, what I think is an evil exercise....
1- Read out numbers given to us from the powerpoint.
2- Add, subtract, multiply or divide them
3- Answer them correctly on the spot, in front of everyone IN SLOVENE.
...and I'm not talking about 2x10....more like 342x7!!
Suddenly, I was 8 again—feeling pressure, heart racing, throat tightening, and holding back tears.
I had to leave the room to have a little cry in the bathroom because I was so overwhelmed with stress.
In that bathroom I realised, I was experiencing the same stress I had felt as a child when I moved to a new place and felt completely out of my depth.
Maths became tied to that overwhelming sense of losing control, turning into a lifelong stress trigger—all because of that terrible teacher.
Now can you see why you have to understand why English stresses you out?
And why you need a teacher or coach who doesn't make you want to leave the country or cry in the bathroom!
Why Do We Experience Stress From Learning English?
It’s all in our heads- literally!
Neuroscience tells us that our brain holds onto past stress, so when something reminds it of a bad experience, it thinks, "Uh-oh, here we go again!"
This kicks off our primal "fight or flight" response— our brain’s way of saying, "Run or fight, quick!" It gets our heart racing and floods our body with energy, preparing us to find the nearest exit or stand our ground & fight.
We don’t need to run from a wild animal or fight off a dangerous situation these days. But our brain can’t tell the difference between real danger and getting stuck on English grammar.
Even though our English problems aren’t life-threatening, our bodies still react the same way.
In my case, my brain had connected Maths to the general stress from moving & feeling out of control as a child, & re-triggers that feeling everytime I do Maths.
But here’s the good news: neuroscience says we can actually retrain our brains.
Once we understand why something is stressing us out, we can teach ourselves not to react to those old triggers & finally make the progress we crave!
Let's explore the top 6 English anxiety & stress triggers & how to fix it so you can overcome yours!
Trigger 1: “Will I Ever Be Done Learning English?”
Mastering English can sometimes feel like climbing a mountain with no peak in sight.
You might find yourself asking, “How will I know when I’ve learnt enough?” or “Will I still be memorising vocabulary lists when I’m 85?”
It can feel overwhelming—especially if you’ve been at it for a while. You might be thinking, “I’ve already put in so much time—how much more do I have to give before it’s enough?”
This feeling often comes from perfectionism, fear of the unknown, or not having a clear end point.
Unlike other skills, language learning doesn’t come with a big flashing sign that says: “CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’RE FLUENT NOW!”
But let’s put things into perspective for a second.
Think about your native language.
Can you explain all its grammar rules in detail?
Do you know every single word in the dictionary?
Do you use every word you know on a daily basis?
Probably not, right?
The truth is: even native speakers haven’t “mastered” their language. And here’s the funny thing—if you’re formally learning English, you might actually understand its grammar better than most native speakers do!
Solution: Build a Stress-proof Plan!
Here’s a simple two-step strategy to keep your English progression on track and your mind at ease:
1. Define what “enough” is—for you
Set your own personal finish line.
That might be an official exam like CEFR C2 or IELTS 9 if you need it for work or study.
Or it could be something more personal like, “I want to express myself in English the same way I do in my native language,” or, “I want to freely chat with my English-speaking colleagues without Googling half the conversation afterward.”
Whatever your goal, make sure it’s meaningful to you.
2. Give yourself a deadline
Once you’ve got your goal, give it a deadline—something realistic but motivating.
Then break it into smaller steps or goals so you’re not staring at a mountain, but walking a path with clear checkpoints along the way. If you’re not sure how to do that, an English language coach (like me!) can help you create a plan that suits your learning style and schedule.
Having a plan not only gives your learning structure—it gives your brain something to celebrate! Every time you tick off a mini-goal, you get a hit of dopamine (your brain’s feel-good chemical), which keeps you motivated to carry on.
The bottom line? You don’t need to know everything to be accomplished in English. You just need to decide what success looks like for you—and then build your journey around that.
Trigger 2: You hate traditional teacher-student dynamics
If (like me!) you’ve ever sat in a classroom, afraid to speak in case you got something “wrong” and be screamed at, you know how traumatising traditional teacher-student dynamics can be.
Many people I work with had that one truly horrible English teacher—someone who made them feel small, embarrassed them in front of the class, or acted like being wrong was a crime. And once that happens, that fear's hard to shake.
Even if your teachers weren’t awful, the way we were taught often was.
Remember having to memorise endless grammar rules? Or translating dull sentences word-for-word with zero context or creativity? It’s no wonder people feel triggered the moment they hear the word “past participle.” It's plain boring!!
The problem with traditional setups is that they often put the teacher in full control of your learning and you, the student in the shadows.
You’re expected to listen, absorb, and nod quietly, while the teacher powers through a rigid lesson plan—regardless of how you’re feeling, whether it’s working for you, or if it's even what YOU need to improve your English!
Solution: Get a professional who's there for YOUR needs!
This is where working with a coach (or a more modern, thoughtful teacher) can completely change your experience.
A good coach doesn’t just ask, “What grammar should we cover today?” They ask, “How are you today?” Because how you feel directly affects how you learn.
They work with you, not at you. They take the time to understand how you’re feeling—your energy levels, your mood, what kind of day you’ve had—and adjust the session accordingly.
Let’s say you’ve had a stressful day at work and you turn up to a session completely wiped. A traditional teacher might still plough ahead with passive voice structures and page 34 of the workbook.
But a coach?
We adapt on the spot, offering something lighter, more engaging, or focused on conversation practice—something that still moves you forward but doesn’t push you over the edge.
The right English coach or teacher will help rewrite your old, stressful memories of learning English and replace them with new, happy, positive ones. Ones that make you feel empowered, not judged. Curious, not cautious.
And—most importantly—excited & inspired to keep going!
Trigger 3: Group English Classes Make You Want to Run
Traditional group English lessons aren’t for everyone—and if the thought of speaking in front of others makes you want to find the nearest exit, you’re not alone.
In group settings, there’s always that one annoying person who answers every question, speaks over others, and somehow turns the whole session into their own private class.
Meanwhile, if you're one of the quieter ones you politely, wait your turn to talk or just stay silent altogether. If you’re someone who doesn’t like the spotlight, group English programs make it easy to shrink into the background—and that means you’re not getting the practice you actually need.
Then there’s the level issue.
Some learners are more advanced, some are just starting out, but are put into your group because the school wants the money, and you end up with a group that’s completely uneven. For some, the class moves too fast. For others, it drags. Either way, someone’s bound to feel frustrated, bored, or completely lost. Even worse- it can waste your time and money.
And let’s not forget the emotional baggage that comes with previous group experiences.
If you’ve ever felt like the slow one in the room, or constantly compared yourself to others, group learning can stir up a whole lot of anxiety!
So how can group learning work for you, not against you?
It all comes down to the way the group is run.
A good English language coach will make sure everyone feels included, supported, and valued.
That might mean mixing people into smaller pairs or groups so no one feels stuck in the same dynamic every time. Or using team-building activities that help learners relax and connect with each other.
When everyone feels connected with each other, the English coach AND the language they’re more likely to join in—and actually enjoy the process.
It’s also essential to have clear group goals.
Especially in workplace settings, where “Business English” can sometimes feel a bit too… vague.
Instead of working through generic material, the group can help shape the course itself—discussing real workplace scenarios, common challenges, and communication goals.
That way, the content actually matters to them, and everyone’s heading in the same direction.
Trigger 4: You Prefer to Learn on Your Own
If you're someone who enjoys learning independently—planning your own study routine, setting your own goals, and generally enjoying the freedom to learn English when and how you like—then being told what to do can feel a bit... stifling.
It’s not that you’re resistant to help. You know you need guidance to really move forward with your English. But the idea of someone else having full control of your development- no thank you!
For many independent learners, it’s about maintaining a sense of autonomy.
Being told, “Today we’re going to learn the third conditional!” when you’d rather review some business phrases or just have a conversation can feel frustrating—or even anxiety-inducing, especially if control is how you manage stress.
Solution: How coaching fits in without taking over!
The beauty of working with the right English language coach is that they get this. They won’t swoop in and start dictating what to do. Instead, they’ll collaborate with you—checking where you are, what you need, and how much support you want.
It's like having a supportive co-pilot who lets you steer, but reminds you to check your mirrors.
I have a client who has completely taken control of her development. She came fully prepared with a spreadsheet schedule with daily exercises to do- like she was an English teacher herself! For her, my role as a coach is to provide the opportunity to verbally practice what she's learnt on her own, review her progress & answer any questions she has!
If you’d rather get stuck into things solo, that’s absolutely fine!
You do the heavy lifting on your own, and your English sessions become a space to ask questions, troubleshoot trickier topics, and fine-tune your progress!
Trigger 5: You’re Learning English… But You Don't Want to!
Let’s be honest—sometimes you're learning English because you have to, not because you want to.
Maybe it’s a visa requirement. Maybe your boss has told you to “work on your communication skills.” Maybe it’s for university, or a job abroad you’re not even sure you want.
Either way, the motivation just isn’t there, and every study session feels like a chore.
When something is imposed on us, even if it’s ultimately for our benefit, it can feel like our freedom is being squeezed. And that resentment—however small—can make it really hard to focus, let alone enjoy the process.
I can usually tell when a client's heart & soul isn't in English. They’ll smile politely, maybe even seem enthusiastic at first—but then the energy dips. They get fidgety, their eyes glaze over, or they keep cancelling sessions and insisting they “really want to keep going”… just not this week.
Solution: Shift the experience, not just the schedule
The first step here isn’t more grammar drills—it’s honesty.
A good English coach won’t shame you for feeling unmotivated. In fact, they'll want to understand why.
Is it pressure from work? A sense of not being good enough? Just feeling totally disconnected from the material?
Once those deeper reasons are uncovered, the focus can shift from “You have to do this” to “How can we make this feel good?”
That might mean meeting once a week not twice a week, using topics you actually care about, or even visualising what life will look like once you've ticked that English goal off your to-do list.
A little bit of imagination can work wonders for the subconscious—and help your brain start seeing English as something empowering, not punishing.
Trigger 6: "Help- I'm Scared of English!"
I'm scared of needles. Others can’t stand spiders. And then there are those who get a wave of panic the moment they hear a foreign language—yes, it’s a real thing, and it even has a name: Xenoglossophobia.
Whether it’s speaking, listening, reading, or writing, the very act of using a second language can trigger full-on stress responses.
For some, it’s just one aspect - like speaking aloud in class, for others, it’s every part of the process.
Your brain short-circuits, your heart races, and your confidence plummets before you’ve even finished the first sentence.
Confidence grows in calm conditions
The right support makes all the difference. Gentle encouragement, relaxed conversations, and a focus on wins (no matter how small) will gradually rewire how your brain responds to English.
With time, what once felt terrifying can start to feel empowering—even fun.
My English Communication Coaching model is great if you have such fears because I incorporate techniques from my Life Coaching qualification! I know how to keep you calm, expose you to English in a gentle way & replace your fears with positive experiences!
Because let’s be real: nobody learns well when they’re panicking.
But when you feel calm, capable, and understood? That’s when the magic happens.
Conclusion: You’re Not Alone—And You’re Not Stuck
If you recognised yourself in one (or more) of these triggers, take it as a positive—not a problem.
Why?
Because with a bit of self-awareness and the right support, stress doesn’t have to run the show.
In fact, understanding what’s getting in your way is the first step to moving past it.
Learning English can feel overwhelming at times—but it doesn’t have to stay that way. With a coach who listens, adapts, and truly gets you, your learning journey can become something empowering, even enjoyable.
If you’d like to chat about what kind of support might suit you best, feel free to book a free consultation call with me. We’ll explore what’s been holding you back and how to move forward—at your own pace, in your own way.
Here’s to a calmer, more confident path to English!
Best wishes,
Eleanor
About the Author
I'm a British native and English Communication Coach based in Ljubljana, Slovenia.
As a certified English teacher and life coach, I started Utter Eloquence to help you express yourself clearly and confidently in English.
Ready to speak like you in English? Let’s get started!
Vocabulary List
Walk in the park – Something that is easy or simple to do.
Haunt – To cause someone to think about something over and over, usually in a negative way.
Roadblocks – Obstacles or problems that stop progress.
Severely – In a very serious or extreme way.
On the spot – Immediately or without delay.
Out of my depth – Feeling unable to handle something because it is too difficult or unfamiliar.
Neuroscience – The scientific study of the brain and nervous system.
Stand our ground – To maintain your position or beliefs in the face of opposition.
Checkpoints – Specific points or stages in a process where progress is assessed or verified.
Dopamine – A chemical in the brain that makes you feel good, often linked to motivation and reward.
Accomplished – Having achieved a lot or mastered something.
Hard to shake – Difficult to get rid of or forget.
Dull – Boring or not interesting.
Absorb – To take in or understand information or knowledge.
Plough ahead – To continue moving forward with something, often despite challenges or difficulties.
Push you over the edge – To make someone feel so overwhelmed or upset that they can’t handle it anymore.
Emotional baggage – Past emotional experiences that affect a person’s current feelings or behavior.
Stifling – Restricting or preventing free action or expression.
Resistant – Not willing to change or accept something.
Autonomy – The ability to make your own decisions and act independently.
Swoop in – To quickly and suddenly take action or intervene.
Dictating – Telling someone exactly what to do, often in a commanding way.
Solo – Done alone or without help from others.
Troubleshooter – A person who solves problems or fixes issues.
Fine-tune – To make small adjustments or improvements to something.
Imposed – Forced upon someone, often without their choice.
Resentment – A feeling of anger or bitterness toward someone or something.
Subconscious – The part of the mind that influences actions and feelings without being fully aware of it.
Empowering – Giving someone the confidence or authority to take control of their actions.
Can’t stand – To strongly dislike or be unable to tolerate something.
Rewire – To change the way something works, often used in the context of changing thoughts or habits.
Capable – Having the ability or skills to do something.
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